White veil.

The bride blushes
because her flesh is transparent.
What happens when her flesh
becomes
opaque?

Their words are written
under the visible skin.
The part where it is tender,
where the callus
covers.

They took the place
of where you should be,
my darling.
I filled that space
before it was time.

Virginity is black and white
but I know better.
Pure is my flesh
but not my heart.
My heart is stained.

Dear God,
If you are my groom
and I your bride
is my veil
white?

Stale.

We are all born into this world
with a nature of innocence.
The cold wind
has not yet bitten our face.
The warm sun
has not yet heated our flesh.

We are at birth
given a fresh spirit.
Our eyes
have not yet seen sin.
Our ears
have not heard damnation.
And our tongues
have not yet spoken evil.

I turn back
whiplash
as I look to when I knew little.
And I look forward
whiplash
as I realize that I know little.

And I look inward
disgusted
as I see
my innocence has
fallen
away.

"Circumstances took it from me!"
I shout
the words choked out.
Lies lies lies.
Truer things I have never spoken
but so much is left unsaid, lies.

I want to be a hero in my own story
pure and righteous.
I want to deny my responsibility
for this loss of innocence.
I want to point fingers
give glares
without seeing that I have
fucked
up.

I opened my eyes to the sin
welcomed it lustfully.
I pointed my ears to the damnations
satisfied myself with them.
I let my mouth speak of evils
I wanted my mouth to speak evils.

I have played with darkness
far too long.
The cold wind has cut into my flesh
and my spirit is
stale.